Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture"
and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real
examples that have been heard or reported:
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover,
but there are only 4 ways out of this plane
Pilot "Folks, we have reached our cruising
altitude now, so I am going to switch
the seat belt sign off. Feel free to
move about as you wish, but please
stay inside the plane till we land
...it's a bit cold outside, and if you
walk on the wings it might affect the
flight pattern".
After landing : "Thank you for flying
with us, we hope you enjoyed giving us
the business as much as we enjoyed
taking you for a ride".
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin
pressure, oxygen masks will descend from
the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask,
and pull it over your face. If you have a
small child travelling with you, secure your
mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
travelling with two small children, decide
now which one you love more."
